Tuesday, October 20, 2009

It's October and already I'm feeling the effects of the gray skies and cooler weather. The alarm rings in the morning and it's almost painful to get out of bed. I feel as gray as the sky.

I grumble about living here in the north where it is so dismal six months out of the year and those who hear about it suggest I move. I would move in a heartbeat if I didn't love my job so much. I know for a fact I can do my job from anywhere in the world UNLESS I truly need to see a hard copy of the documentation. Apparently my boss says it will be over her dead body before she allows working from home. She tried it once and it didn't go well. Maybe she'll die soon? The others just want to work from home. Me? I want to work from another state or country. Keeping the faith and sticking pins in voodoo dolls.....wishes do come true now and again, right?

John says it's freezing in China. Apparently the government controls the heat in that country and it's not to be turned on until late November. So perhaps I should quit my bitching about the state I live in. At least I'm not in China where I might be homicidal after taking a shower in freezing temps.

Speaking of November, less than one month until John and I see one another again. Skype has been working well for us and it's allowing me to get to know him better before what could have been an awkward second real life meeting.

What's funny is that most everyone thinks he and I met online. At least the online people all think this. They cannot seem to fathom meeting people any other way. Interesting no?

October 18, 2009

One month since Ireland. John and I have kept in touch using skype. Gosh technology is wonderful. He works in China and will be there for, I believe, another 2 years. I have no clue where this is going, if anywhere.

We're meeting in New Mexico next month. I wasn't going to go but my friends talked me into it. One friend in particular really feels I need to at least give this a chance. I guess I agree.

I didn't want to be pushy or freak him out but I 'needed' to know if he was open to ....uhm...the "spicier" side of sex. I had some inclinations from our weekend in Ireland that he might be. It was awkward bringing it up. It went something like this:
"Uhm....errr.....there is something I feel I should tell you. I'd hate to scare you off so soon but...*LONG PAUSE*....and then I stumbled through words so quickly that I couldn't recall precisely what they were if you held a gun to my head.

Then I noticed a look of relief on his face. I think that the way I began my confession may have sounded as though I was going to tell him I was really born a man, or married, or something MUCH more scary than being a freak in the bedroom. Oh, I can laugh about it now, but it was awkward as hell at the time.

So, long story cut short, he's open to it. I am relieved. We'll see how this goes. I know I should have waited to get to know him better as a man but I felt it might be wasting my time going through the getting to know you process just to be disappointed in the end. He'd have to be the most amazing man ever for me to get through the rest of my life faking sexual enjoyment. I stand by my previous words. Sex is NOT the icing on the cake. It is one of the main ingredients. Without it, there is no reason to eat the cake.