Bora Bora - Dream Destination

Ahhh Bora Bora. I spotted you for the first time this past summer and have been dreaming of you ever since.

I am SO not a beach person, or so I thought, until I viewed this island in the South Pacific. It is about half way from the US to Australia. Since I am planning an Australia trip, I'm now thinking I may have to stop off half way for a rest. oh sigh and drool.

Looking for that special man with a timeshare on Bora Bora.....PM me now, k?

Tuesday's Tidbit - Bondage Outlawed?

New pornography law 'will criminalise bondage'
A new law that will make it illegal to possess "extreme" pornographic images risks criminalising law-abiding people who simply enjoy unusual sex, say campaigners.

By Stephen Adams Last Updated: 1:00PM GMT 30 Dec 2008

The Criminal Justice and Immigration Act 2008 comes into force in Britain on January 26, under which Section 63 makes owning "an extreme pornographic image" illegal. The offence is punishable by up to three years in prison.
But campaigners who take part in sexual role-playing activities - such as bondage, domination and sadomasochism - believe the law will criminalise what goes on behind closed doors between consenting adults.
They do not have a problem with banning the more extreme images, such as those depicting necrophilia and bestiality - actions which are already illegal, but believe the act has been too loosely worded.
The law states that an image is extremely pornographic if it "is grossly offensive, disgusting or otherwise of an obscene character" and portrays an act which threatens a person's life, or which results or appears likely to result in serious injury to someone's genitals or breasts.
But this would lead to magistrates and juries being the subjective arbiters of taste, campaigners say.
Claire Lewis, 35, who set up the Consenting Adult Action Network, (Caan), told The Independent: "I firmly agree that images of non-consensual activities which involve violence should be criminalised but this is a badly worded law that risks criminalising thousands of ordinary people. The Government seems to be convinced that if people like us look at pictures for too long we'll end up turning into abusers. That's outrageous."
A Ministry of Justice spokesman said the law would only be used to prosecute those possessing the most extreme images.

My Thoughts- by Cerina

And just who decides the person in the photo is not consenting? Who will be peeking into my bedroom window and passing judgement upon my sexuality? If I've learned anything over these past ten years, it's that what is considered extreme to one person might be a simple sensual pleasure to another. The shallow minds of a few making the rules for all. Haven't we been down this road before?

"grossly offensive"
Am I? Should I hide my face and feel ashamed? I find sexually challenged people to be disgusting. I have no use for women who lie there once a month and tolerate the hubby climbing her to "do his business". I feel disgust for men who think sticking it in and swishing it around for 30 seconds constitutes great sex and then expect us to be grateful.

::flings open my window and yells to the world:: I love porn, bondage, and s & M!!! And I'm not ashamed! (Good thing i'm not in the UK, huh?)

Up Late

The stress of the holidays followed by the inevitable crash has my sleep a bit messed up. I aimlessly perused the web. Boring. Thought about chat. Equally boring. I need something to do. I will blog.

I'm so accustomed to being busy all the time that when I have a few days to myself, I don't know what to do. I only work 2 1/2 days this coming week and only worked 2 1/2 this past week. That is simply too much time. It leaves far too much opportunity for me to get into trouble.

I went out with my sister and her husband last night to listen to a band. The sound was overwhelming and I soon figured out the reason for the overly loud music was to drown out the singer's marginal vocals. At one point, the sister's bf begins chuckling and says "oh yeah, it's gonna be a great night." My sister follows that sentiment with "uhm....don't turn around. The Ex is here." Oh goodie. An uncomfortable evening. Just what I was hoping for. Not so much.

He pranced around and did his best to appear desirable and popular. He failed. Idiot......I KNOW you. I lived with you. You are fooling no one but yourself. That may sound mean but you'd have to know the complete history to understand. Lucky for you it's 1:40 a.m and I am far too lazy to do that much typing. I'll sum it up by saying the entire world wants to know just what the hell was I thinking giving him the time of day. My only answer is that I'm gullible and soft hearted. Oh yes, and I think I can fix people. Thought I could fix people. I'm over that now. At least I pray that I'm finished with that.

New Year's Eve is quickly approaching and I am frantically searching for flight deals so I can get out of dodge and not endure a pointless night out in this town. Las Vegas appears to be the only option. I may end up calling the thousands of travel agents I have access to and begging for something else.....anything. A warm beach perhaps. A quiet, warm beach. I feel myself relaxing just thinking about it.

Ok. I'm going to give sleep another chance. If anyone knows of a hot deal out of town, let me know.

Feeling the Dominance

The precise combination of character traits which inspire my submission is not easily defined. I would think that is true for most people. Confidence about who he is, what he wants, and where his life is headed. That's sexy. He has a great deal of life experience along with an education. He is able to have conversations about politics, money, business, and life. He's a stimulating human being. I have an enormous amount of respect for him. His sexuality matches mine quite well. There wasn't a question of submitting to him. I said "no" to him 4 times in seven years.

I believe most of it boiled down to chemistry. Our personalites worked well together and our differences were not so opposed as to cause major clashes. I trusted him to be good to me and he was. He's a good man who would have taken very good care of me forever. There is no way I could write up a list so that anyone would understand.

There are hundreds of websites out there with thousands of articles about how to be a dominant and what makes for a good dominant but without the chemistry and his natural instincts, he could read until he went blind....we wouldn't have worked.

Oh No, I'm thinking again

It is below zero outside with snow on the way and as usual this time of year, I'm stuck in the house more often. This gives me a bit more time to log into my online accounts. Lucky you, huh?

This blog is dedicated to the d/s side of my life and d/s has been on my mind a bit lately. More than usual. I'm missing Jeff a great deal. Lots has happened over the past year and I'm still not accustomed to not sharing it all with him. He always seemed so excited for me no matter how trivial the event. He's a fabulous man and I sincerely hope life is treating him well. Not knowing if he's alright bothers me the most.

The other night, I witnessed my ten thousandth online discussion about limits. (I think I should be winning a prize any day now) The limits subject appears to bring out the fearful side of submissives. At first, I was thinking "oh dear God do I really have to watch this rehashed yet again?" But then another question came up: Why do submissives bring it up again and again? This question of "What would you do if the dominant partner kept trying to push your bdsm limits or what would you do if He/She didn't respect a limit?"

I smell fear. I am familiar with that fear if I close my eyes and think back far enough into the past.

Eleven years ago I was stepping outside my comfort zone and putting myself "out there" so to speak. I talked to many men who immediately barged past the "getting to know you" stage to the "how do you feel about being peed on?" (or any of those more touchy activities) When approached in this manner by someone I felt I wanted to know, I found myself becoming defensive and protective. I have limits! Let me list them ad nauseum until you run screaming for the door. Wait! Where are you going? .........huh.......he left. Weird how that keeps happening. Oh well, he must not be a REAL dominant. Freak. Who needs him anyway? Scaring me like that! Bastard.

So the focus was put on the men and it stayed there for a long time until I realized the focus should be on me and why I was shoving my "limits" down so many throats. Fear.

He's going to hurt me. He doesn't really want to be with me. He just wants kink. He couldn't care less about me and who I really am. He's going to push me into activities that will cause me to feel degraded, humiliated, and I will think less of myself. After he's used me up he will move on to fresh meat who hasn't done any of those awful things. I will be left broken and used.

That's what I secretly thought. Sometimes, I still do. However, talking about bdsm isn't so exciting and new anymore. Actually, I find it almost boring at times. As I said before, eleven years is a great deal of time to be part of the same discussions over and over again. Now, when someone immediately starts talking about activities before they even know my last name or who I am, I change the subject to something nilla. There is no need to discuss limits with anyone I'm not in a relationship with. If they happen to be into the more extreme side of bdsm and want to know if I enjoy this as well, they will have to take the long road and get to know ME before they know my limits. (or even if I'll kiss them goodnight at the end of our first date). Silly little nilla me. They'd better be careful what they wish for though. There is a dark, twisted side to me that loves to push the envelope. Perhaps they should be more afraid of my sexuality than me of theirs, huh? *sly grin*

My dear submissives, there is no need to shout out your limits and make demands they be respected before you know his last name or if he snores loud enough to wake the dead. (ahem Jeff) When the right time comes to have this discussion you will know it. If something scary comes up?

Hard limits: The word is 'NO'. Not if you don't want to sleep with one eye open.

Limits that you're 'iffy' about, don't want to openly admit to trying unless with the right person: The word is "maybe". If you demonstrate you truly have my best interests at heart....maybe.

I have so much more to write but my eyes are tired, people. Let's just remember that the word for today is not 'limits' but 'fear'. Say it out loud to Him/Her and you might be surprised what happens. Instead of "no freaking way am I ever doing that", say "I'm scared". Let me know what happens, ok? I am truly interested. If anyone reads this, that is.