I'm so excited! I purchased my plane ticket for Ireland! I've put off travel so far this year due to the economy but found myself going a bit batty. Then, I stumbled across a SWEET airfare deal and just couldn't pass it up. I need this. I need to run away for a bit. Ok, so it's not until September, but it gives me something to look forward to again. Now let's hope the world isn't wiped out by the swine flu before then....
OH my gosh. I need to run out and get the fabulous tiny camcorder I've had my eye on. It fits in the palm of your hand and will easily tuck away into my purse while traveling.
After a bit of drama between my sister and her boyfriend on saturday morning, the three of us hit the road for Minneapolis. We were behind schedule so we didn't spend as much time at my Mall as I would have liked. The boyfriend is uninvited for next year. I'm not sure what happened between the two love birds and I don't care. Do NOT mess up my Rubber Ball weekend.
We finally get to the hotel shortly after 8 p.m and I was exhausted. I wanted to badly to take a short nap but my hair takes forever to dry. Being naturally curly, hairdryers are out of the question when I'm planning on going curly for the night. 45 minutes later, despite my best efforts, the hair was still playing hard to get. I knew I should have booked an appointment to have it done but OH NO, I could not possibly have saved myself a ton of grief.
So now, i'm feeling pissy. Very pissy. This is not good. God help everyone if my makeup doesn't turn out right. It does. Hair - 0 Makeup - 1 Clothing?
Yeah...uhm....ok, I"ll share. *takes deep breath* So, about a month ago I decide the twins need help in the lift department. I'd purchased a few new tops that really needed spectacular cleavage. I know! I'll buy the new "Cleavage Cupcakes". They are gel inserts which are supposed to push the Twins upward and inward. No one warned me this might not work so well with D cups. Yes, I got a bit of lift, but not what I had been hoping for. Next time, duct tape.
Hair-0 Makeup-1 Clothing- 1/2
Let's fast forward to the Rubber Ball because the next 15 minutes was just me having a fit that my sister cannot be on time to save her life.
The music was awesome as usual. Thumbs up Mr DJ. But what the f*** was up with that Madonna song you slipped in at the end?! I can only guess that someone secretly laced your beverage with a roofie. Or had the fumes from all that rubber affected your thought process?
TONS of great outfits!! HUGE thumbs up to the two naughty nurses in latex. Cat woman was a yawn. That is soooooo last year, dear. The Rubber Dolls. This was my first year experiencing 'The Dolls' and I'm still not entirely sure what to make of it all but it certainly did boost the atmosphere. It turns out that Rubber Dollies are a completely new "fetish?" that I was unaware existed.
Scenes:
Flogging. I saw one woman take a beating that would have had me crying for my mommy.
Trampling. I don't think that would have worked as well for the man if the women who trampled him had weighed over 108 lbs.
Fish Hook man. This is where I ran for the stairs. The thought of this man being pulled by the front chest and upper back by a series of hooks through his flesh was too much for me to bear.
Tony the Boot Kisser. Halloween you worshipped my sexy boots and you dare to pass me by this time??? omg I"m so hurt. I may never scowl at you again.
Lots of hot women to gawk at but alas, not one hot male that made my heart pitter patter. Not even ONE flirtation this time around. My night is never complete without a little eyelash batting. My sister and I danced a bit but by the time we had the dance fever, Mistress Jean felt it was time to interrupt the music every 15 minutes for a skit, or fashion show, or for a Dolly parade. Look, the skit was cute. I still want to know who you got the strapon to gush that much liquid. The fashion show and the parade we all could have done without. It killed the momentum of the night. If we all have to fork out an extra five dollars each next year to keep from being forced to watch the "commercials" I'm sure it would be fine.
All in all I had a fabulous time and next time I'll show go, it will be for the usual Bondage A Go Go night. NO MORE MADONNA or I form a coups and hang the dj from suspension hooks.
cerina
We finally get to the hotel shortly after 8 p.m and I was exhausted. I wanted to badly to take a short nap but my hair takes forever to dry. Being naturally curly, hairdryers are out of the question when I'm planning on going curly for the night. 45 minutes later, despite my best efforts, the hair was still playing hard to get. I knew I should have booked an appointment to have it done but OH NO, I could not possibly have saved myself a ton of grief.
So now, i'm feeling pissy. Very pissy. This is not good. God help everyone if my makeup doesn't turn out right. It does. Hair - 0 Makeup - 1 Clothing?
Yeah...uhm....ok, I"ll share. *takes deep breath* So, about a month ago I decide the twins need help in the lift department. I'd purchased a few new tops that really needed spectacular cleavage. I know! I'll buy the new "Cleavage Cupcakes". They are gel inserts which are supposed to push the Twins upward and inward. No one warned me this might not work so well with D cups. Yes, I got a bit of lift, but not what I had been hoping for. Next time, duct tape.
Hair-0 Makeup-1 Clothing- 1/2
Let's fast forward to the Rubber Ball because the next 15 minutes was just me having a fit that my sister cannot be on time to save her life.
The music was awesome as usual. Thumbs up Mr DJ. But what the f*** was up with that Madonna song you slipped in at the end?! I can only guess that someone secretly laced your beverage with a roofie. Or had the fumes from all that rubber affected your thought process?
TONS of great outfits!! HUGE thumbs up to the two naughty nurses in latex. Cat woman was a yawn. That is soooooo last year, dear. The Rubber Dolls. This was my first year experiencing 'The Dolls' and I'm still not entirely sure what to make of it all but it certainly did boost the atmosphere. It turns out that Rubber Dollies are a completely new "fetish?" that I was unaware existed.
Scenes:
Flogging. I saw one woman take a beating that would have had me crying for my mommy.
Trampling. I don't think that would have worked as well for the man if the women who trampled him had weighed over 108 lbs.
Fish Hook man. This is where I ran for the stairs. The thought of this man being pulled by the front chest and upper back by a series of hooks through his flesh was too much for me to bear.
Tony the Boot Kisser. Halloween you worshipped my sexy boots and you dare to pass me by this time??? omg I"m so hurt. I may never scowl at you again.
Lots of hot women to gawk at but alas, not one hot male that made my heart pitter patter. Not even ONE flirtation this time around. My night is never complete without a little eyelash batting. My sister and I danced a bit but by the time we had the dance fever, Mistress Jean felt it was time to interrupt the music every 15 minutes for a skit, or fashion show, or for a Dolly parade. Look, the skit was cute. I still want to know who you got the strapon to gush that much liquid. The fashion show and the parade we all could have done without. It killed the momentum of the night. If we all have to fork out an extra five dollars each next year to keep from being forced to watch the "commercials" I'm sure it would be fine.
All in all I had a fabulous time and next time I'll show go, it will be for the usual Bondage A Go Go night. NO MORE MADONNA or I form a coups and hang the dj from suspension hooks.
cerina
Today I am grateful for having a job that I love. As many know, I am passionate about travel. So, being able to talk about travel with people all over the world Monday thru Friday is heaven on earth. Ok, so 'some' of the people do get on my last nerve, but they keep me on my toes and provide the challenge I crave. (no, i'm not a travel agent)
I am grateful for my sister and the rest of my friends who have never ceased to support my unique desires and interests. In chatting with bdsm folks from around the globe, I realize that I am one of the lucky few whose nilla friends happily join me for events such as The Rubber Ball. The first year that I talked them into going I was nervous about their reaction and found myself tickled pink that they had just as fabulous a time as I did. Each year, they hunt me down and beg to be part of the group attending. I am truly blessed.
I am grateful for my sister and the rest of my friends who have never ceased to support my unique desires and interests. In chatting with bdsm folks from around the globe, I realize that I am one of the lucky few whose nilla friends happily join me for events such as The Rubber Ball. The first year that I talked them into going I was nervous about their reaction and found myself tickled pink that they had just as fabulous a time as I did. Each year, they hunt me down and beg to be part of the group attending. I am truly blessed.
I married and divorced in my early twenties and I had the type of marriage which caused me to vow I would never marry again. Everyone said those feelings would soon go away. They didn't. I entered into serious relationships over the years but marriage was not an option. This lead me to believe that I was broken beyond repair.
I used these past years since the divorce to heal and work on my relationship skills. After all, I am the one who chose him.....and chose the men after him. My choices gradually improved and I think that now I think i'm healthy enough to choose wisely.
About six months ago I began feeling a certain longing for a partner in life. A true partner and not just "Mr. Right Now". I want to ensure that I really do have what it takes to be a good partner and so I'm putting a lot of thought into what I need to do to bring a relationship back into my life. A healthy relationship. One that won't cause me to doubt my self worth, require drama, or embrace chaos and believe it is love.
I have no clue where this will lead, if anywhere, but I'm willing to take you along for the ride.
cerina
I used these past years since the divorce to heal and work on my relationship skills. After all, I am the one who chose him.....and chose the men after him. My choices gradually improved and I think that now I think i'm healthy enough to choose wisely.
About six months ago I began feeling a certain longing for a partner in life. A true partner and not just "Mr. Right Now". I want to ensure that I really do have what it takes to be a good partner and so I'm putting a lot of thought into what I need to do to bring a relationship back into my life. A healthy relationship. One that won't cause me to doubt my self worth, require drama, or embrace chaos and believe it is love.
I have no clue where this will lead, if anywhere, but I'm willing to take you along for the ride.
cerina
I will confess to you that I wasn't sure I'd make it through this winter. I swear that if I had to wait one more week for spring, I'd be in a straight jacket. It was a cold, gray, and dreary winter which sucked my will to live. Due to the current economic climate, I felt it best to not travel this winter. I didn't want to find myself without income and feeling angry that I'd spent a great deal of cash on a trip when I might need it to eat.
I'd tell you who I work for, but then I'm afraid of a lynch mob on my lawn. Go on...guess. We recently had a meeting with one of the executives they sent to calm us down and reassure us about our positions. I am feeling a touch better but I'm not spending money until the deal is set in stone.
So, with that being said, my only "trip" to look forward to is my annual trek into Minneapolis for the Rubber Ball. Freaks unite! The "Ball" is next Saturday and I promise to return with fun stories. Hmmm...maybe I'm jynxing myself. Maybe now I've ruined it and couples won't be having sex next to me on the couch upstairs. Oh the horror.
My hair and manicure appointments are set. The hotel reservations have been made. Let the games begin!
I'd tell you who I work for, but then I'm afraid of a lynch mob on my lawn. Go on...guess. We recently had a meeting with one of the executives they sent to calm us down and reassure us about our positions. I am feeling a touch better but I'm not spending money until the deal is set in stone.
So, with that being said, my only "trip" to look forward to is my annual trek into Minneapolis for the Rubber Ball. Freaks unite! The "Ball" is next Saturday and I promise to return with fun stories. Hmmm...maybe I'm jynxing myself. Maybe now I've ruined it and couples won't be having sex next to me on the couch upstairs. Oh the horror.
My hair and manicure appointments are set. The hotel reservations have been made. Let the games begin!
Minneapolis Rubber Ball
Date/Time:
Saturday April 25, 2009
Time:
10:00pm - 10:00am
Entry Type:
Club Event
Location:
Ground Zero Night Club
City:
Minneapolis
State:
Minnesota
Date/Time:
Saturday April 25, 2009
Time:
10:00pm - 10:00am
Entry Type:
Club Event
Location:
Ground Zero Night Club
City:
Minneapolis
State:
Minnesota
My sister is going through a breakup right now and she is understandably quite upset about it. They've been together for a couple of years and I believe she felt this would be the person to spend the rest of her life with. Little snag....money. My sister works very hard. She owns a home and is raising 2 daughters. She thought she'd found someone who not only wanted to be with her but was also willing to embrace her daughters as his own. He seems to have a never ending supply of money for his toys but it appears helping to pay his portion of the household bills is out of the question. My sister struggled with this and fought with him over money MANY times. She's done fighting and has asked him to move out.
On the surface it appears to be simple but she also struggles with her feelings for him. I can tell you that he's a great guy to be around and we all like him. I knew from the beginning there would be issues but of course I couldn't say anything. The heart wants what it wants and nothing anyone could say would change that.
Last night was "moving" night and she didn't want to be home, so I invited her and the girls to spend the night at my place. I bought a couple bottles of wine and opened myself up to listen to her get it all off her chest.
Here is where it gets interesting. (At least it does in MY mind) Her points: 1) He only works six months of the year as the business he owns is seasonal. Because it is his business, he does not get unemployment during the other six months. She pays for everything. 2) He is uninterested in my sister's stress over household bills. 3) He makes purchases for himself only during the six months off 4) She is not finding him as physically attractive as she did in the beginning as he has gained quite a bit of weight over the last 2 years. 3)He's a Momma's Boy and she feels she is his second mother rather than his girlfriend/partner. She's lost respect for him.
HOWEVER
1) She likes that he's laid back and doesn't easily get upset 2) She has fun with him 3) She loves him
The interesting part? After speaking with her, it is obvious she is doing what we all do. Thinking she can brow beat him into CHANGING. "He's everything I want except.....(insert gripes here)"
My take on it? NO, he is not everything you want. You want a man you respect and has not only his interests in mind but actually cares about your best interests and well-being. You need someone who is an active partner in life and you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he has your back at all times. You need to know this relationship is the ONE place you are safe. The ONE place you are loved. The ONE place where nothing bad can happen to you. So.....no matter how charming, cute, and fun to be around he may be........he isn't The Guy. And yet, I see you struggle with this. That amazes me. Loving someone feels great but if they're not actively working towards a great relationship and only care about themselves, it isn't going to work no matter how much you cry and scream.
I am amazed by people who will stick it out no matter what when they KNOW they're with the wrong person. I've done it myself and I wish I could go back in time and kick myself in the head for being so stupid.
I told my sister to stop being so concerned with what He is or isn't doing and to begin being concerned about herself. He isn't going to change. So, if she can live with who he is RIGHT NOW...keep him around. If not, let him go.
Poor thing. I just want to hold her and tell her everything will be ok. It will be, but she won't hear those words right now. Right now, her world is crumbling and all I can do is listen and offer my support.
On the surface it appears to be simple but she also struggles with her feelings for him. I can tell you that he's a great guy to be around and we all like him. I knew from the beginning there would be issues but of course I couldn't say anything. The heart wants what it wants and nothing anyone could say would change that.
Last night was "moving" night and she didn't want to be home, so I invited her and the girls to spend the night at my place. I bought a couple bottles of wine and opened myself up to listen to her get it all off her chest.
Here is where it gets interesting. (At least it does in MY mind) Her points: 1) He only works six months of the year as the business he owns is seasonal. Because it is his business, he does not get unemployment during the other six months. She pays for everything. 2) He is uninterested in my sister's stress over household bills. 3) He makes purchases for himself only during the six months off 4) She is not finding him as physically attractive as she did in the beginning as he has gained quite a bit of weight over the last 2 years. 3)He's a Momma's Boy and she feels she is his second mother rather than his girlfriend/partner. She's lost respect for him.
HOWEVER
1) She likes that he's laid back and doesn't easily get upset 2) She has fun with him 3) She loves him
The interesting part? After speaking with her, it is obvious she is doing what we all do. Thinking she can brow beat him into CHANGING. "He's everything I want except.....(insert gripes here)"
My take on it? NO, he is not everything you want. You want a man you respect and has not only his interests in mind but actually cares about your best interests and well-being. You need someone who is an active partner in life and you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he has your back at all times. You need to know this relationship is the ONE place you are safe. The ONE place you are loved. The ONE place where nothing bad can happen to you. So.....no matter how charming, cute, and fun to be around he may be........he isn't The Guy. And yet, I see you struggle with this. That amazes me. Loving someone feels great but if they're not actively working towards a great relationship and only care about themselves, it isn't going to work no matter how much you cry and scream.
I am amazed by people who will stick it out no matter what when they KNOW they're with the wrong person. I've done it myself and I wish I could go back in time and kick myself in the head for being so stupid.
I told my sister to stop being so concerned with what He is or isn't doing and to begin being concerned about herself. He isn't going to change. So, if she can live with who he is RIGHT NOW...keep him around. If not, let him go.
Poor thing. I just want to hold her and tell her everything will be ok. It will be, but she won't hear those words right now. Right now, her world is crumbling and all I can do is listen and offer my support.
I was thinking about a man that I'd 'been with'. I was lying on my tummy with him lying on his side next to me. He was spanking me, tugging my hair, and telling me what a delicious slut I am. Then, The Look, came over his face. I knew it immediately and so did my body. One would swear an invisible hand swept over his face and as it revealed his forehead, eyes, nose, and mouth, the change followed. He changed and I changed with him. My breathing became shallow, my heart pounded, and my thong became soaked.
I live for that Look. I know anything is possible and the excitement is almost too much to bear. It's in those times that he pushed my boundaries and my limits. Afterwards, I'd lie there in a warm, fuzzy daze. Amazed and a bit pleased with myself that, "I did it!"
It's a bit like going on a rollercoaster. The anticipation while I wait in line and listen to the screams of those being thrashed around, up and down. A small amount of fear as I wonder, "oh my god can I do this? Maybe it's too much for me." My heart pounds as I take my seat. My breath caught in my chest as the car makes its way to the top. And yes, the blood curdling scream as my car hurtles it's way at 60 miles an hour to the bottom of the hill only to turn me upside down, round and round. Please make it stop! I can't do this. How long is this ride anyway??? Hang on....I'm not sure, but I'm quite certain this is enjoyable. woohoo!! I jump off the ride in the end. I'm all out of breath and my blood is pumping hard through my veins. Again! I want to go again!
This is why I have a difficult time with people listing off their limits before they've ever stood at the edge of what could be a great thrill. Sitting here, sipping my coffee, far removed from anything even slightly resembling s&m. It would be very easy for me to say what I will and won't do. The truth of the matter is, that with the 'right guy' and the 'right circumstance' and oh-my-god-that-LOOK...lots of things are possible.
Embrace the possibilities rather than belittle the unknown. A new world could open up for you.
I live for that Look. I know anything is possible and the excitement is almost too much to bear. It's in those times that he pushed my boundaries and my limits. Afterwards, I'd lie there in a warm, fuzzy daze. Amazed and a bit pleased with myself that, "I did it!"
It's a bit like going on a rollercoaster. The anticipation while I wait in line and listen to the screams of those being thrashed around, up and down. A small amount of fear as I wonder, "oh my god can I do this? Maybe it's too much for me." My heart pounds as I take my seat. My breath caught in my chest as the car makes its way to the top. And yes, the blood curdling scream as my car hurtles it's way at 60 miles an hour to the bottom of the hill only to turn me upside down, round and round. Please make it stop! I can't do this. How long is this ride anyway??? Hang on....I'm not sure, but I'm quite certain this is enjoyable. woohoo!! I jump off the ride in the end. I'm all out of breath and my blood is pumping hard through my veins. Again! I want to go again!
This is why I have a difficult time with people listing off their limits before they've ever stood at the edge of what could be a great thrill. Sitting here, sipping my coffee, far removed from anything even slightly resembling s&m. It would be very easy for me to say what I will and won't do. The truth of the matter is, that with the 'right guy' and the 'right circumstance' and oh-my-god-that-LOOK...lots of things are possible.
Embrace the possibilities rather than belittle the unknown. A new world could open up for you.
The Webster's definition of obsession:
1: a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling ; broadly : compelling motivation
2: something that causes an obsession
You know how when we're madly in love we wake up thinking about the object of our affection, go to sleep thinking about him/her, and fantasize about them every free moment of our day? (OK, maybe it's just me)
Today, I was reflecting about how much time I've spent during my lifetime obsessively thinking about men I've been in love with and it occurred to me that this is a huge waste of my time. It would be great if I could obsess over something that would benefit my life. Such as career, education, entrepreneurial ventures, etc. Imagine what I could accomplish if I could switch gears?
Obsessing over a partner is pointless since we will either make it work or we won't. I'm not saying we should never give a thought to our love life. I just think it would be far more beneficial if we spent an equal amount of time exploring ways to better ourselves and, in turn, THAT would result in strengthening our ability to be an excellent partner.
....just a thought
cerina x
1: a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling ; broadly : compelling motivation
2: something that causes an obsession
You know how when we're madly in love we wake up thinking about the object of our affection, go to sleep thinking about him/her, and fantasize about them every free moment of our day? (OK, maybe it's just me)
Today, I was reflecting about how much time I've spent during my lifetime obsessively thinking about men I've been in love with and it occurred to me that this is a huge waste of my time. It would be great if I could obsess over something that would benefit my life. Such as career, education, entrepreneurial ventures, etc. Imagine what I could accomplish if I could switch gears?
Obsessing over a partner is pointless since we will either make it work or we won't. I'm not saying we should never give a thought to our love life. I just think it would be far more beneficial if we spent an equal amount of time exploring ways to better ourselves and, in turn, THAT would result in strengthening our ability to be an excellent partner.
....just a thought
cerina x
I have a new lover. A fun lover, a cool lover, a lover who makes my evenings enjoyable. My new Wii game. I have the sports package and am waiting on the Wii Fit
package to become available. I feel like a kid again and I love it! It was a christmas present from my parents. Thank God they don't see me as "all grown up" just yet and they recognize that no matter the age, we're all children at heart.
Surprisingly, boxing has become my favorite. There is no better way to work off aggression than to kick some ass when I get home. If only we could fashion the opponent to resemble someone we're angry with.......oh to dream. It's not a bad workout either. I'm shocked at how much I get lost in the battle and I shiver a little with joy.
May I never grow up.
package to become available. I feel like a kid again and I love it! It was a christmas present from my parents. Thank God they don't see me as "all grown up" just yet and they recognize that no matter the age, we're all children at heart.Surprisingly, boxing has become my favorite. There is no better way to work off aggression than to kick some ass when I get home. If only we could fashion the opponent to resemble someone we're angry with.......oh to dream. It's not a bad workout either. I'm shocked at how much I get lost in the battle and I shiver a little with joy.
May I never grow up.
