One month since Ireland. John and I have kept in touch using skype. Gosh technology is wonderful. He works in China and will be there for, I believe, another 2 years. I have no clue where this is going, if anywhere.

We're meeting in New Mexico next month. I wasn't going to go but my friends talked me into it. One friend in particular really feels I need to at least give this a chance. I guess I agree.

I didn't want to be pushy or freak him out but I 'needed' to know if he was open to ....uhm...the "spicier" side of sex. I had some inclinations from our weekend in Ireland that he might be. It was awkward bringing it up. It went something like this:
"Uhm....errr.....there is something I feel I should tell you. I'd hate to scare you off so soon but...*LONG PAUSE*....and then I stumbled through words so quickly that I couldn't recall precisely what they were if you held a gun to my head.

Then I noticed a look of relief on his face. I think that the way I began my confession may have sounded as though I was going to tell him I was really born a man, or married, or something MUCH more scary than being a freak in the bedroom. Oh, I can laugh about it now, but it was awkward as hell at the time.

So, long story cut short, he's open to it. I am relieved. We'll see how this goes. I know I should have waited to get to know him better as a man but I felt it might be wasting my time going through the getting to know you process just to be disappointed in the end. He'd have to be the most amazing man ever for me to get through the rest of my life faking sexual enjoyment. I stand by my previous words. Sex is NOT the icing on the cake. It is one of the main ingredients. Without it, there is no reason to eat the cake.