After a bit of drama between my sister and her boyfriend on saturday morning, the three of us hit the road for Minneapolis. We were behind schedule so we didn't spend as much time at my Mall as I would have liked. The boyfriend is uninvited for next year. I'm not sure what happened between the two love birds and I don't care. Do NOT mess up my Rubber Ball weekend.

We finally get to the hotel shortly after 8 p.m and I was exhausted. I wanted to badly to take a short nap but my hair takes forever to dry. Being naturally curly, hairdryers are out of the question when I'm planning on going curly for the night. 45 minutes later, despite my best efforts, the hair was still playing hard to get. I knew I should have booked an appointment to have it done but OH NO, I could not possibly have saved myself a ton of grief.

So now, i'm feeling pissy. Very pissy. This is not good. God help everyone if my makeup doesn't turn out right. It does. Hair - 0 Makeup - 1 Clothing?

Yeah...uhm....ok, I"ll share. *takes deep breath* So, about a month ago I decide the twins need help in the lift department. I'd purchased a few new tops that really needed spectacular cleavage. I know! I'll buy the new "Cleavage Cupcakes". They are gel inserts which are supposed to push the Twins upward and inward. No one warned me this might not work so well with D cups. Yes, I got a bit of lift, but not what I had been hoping for. Next time, duct tape.

Hair-0 Makeup-1 Clothing- 1/2

Let's fast forward to the Rubber Ball because the next 15 minutes was just me having a fit that my sister cannot be on time to save her life.

The music was awesome as usual. Thumbs up Mr DJ. But what the f*** was up with that Madonna song you slipped in at the end?! I can only guess that someone secretly laced your beverage with a roofie. Or had the fumes from all that rubber affected your thought process?

TONS of great outfits!! HUGE thumbs up to the two naughty nurses in latex. Cat woman was a yawn. That is soooooo last year, dear. The Rubber Dolls. This was my first year experiencing 'The Dolls' and I'm still not entirely sure what to make of it all but it certainly did boost the atmosphere. It turns out that Rubber Dollies are a completely new "fetish?" that I was unaware existed.

Flogging. I saw one woman take a beating that would have had me crying for my mommy.

Trampling. I don't think that would have worked as well for the man if the women who trampled him had weighed over 108 lbs.

Fish Hook man. This is where I ran for the stairs. The thought of this man being pulled by the front chest and upper back by a series of hooks through his flesh was too much for me to bear.

Tony the Boot Kisser. Halloween you worshipped my sexy boots and you dare to pass me by this time??? omg I"m so hurt. I may never scowl at you again.

Lots of hot women to gawk at but alas, not one hot male that made my heart pitter patter. Not even ONE flirtation this time around. My night is never complete without a little eyelash batting. My sister and I danced a bit but by the time we had the dance fever, Mistress Jean felt it was time to interrupt the music every 15 minutes for a skit, or fashion show, or for a Dolly parade. Look, the skit was cute. I still want to know who you got the strapon to gush that much liquid. The fashion show and the parade we all could have done without. It killed the momentum of the night. If we all have to fork out an extra five dollars each next year to keep from being forced to watch the "commercials" I'm sure it would be fine.

All in all I had a fabulous time and next time I'll show go, it will be for the usual Bondage A Go Go night. NO MORE MADONNA or I form a coups and hang the dj from suspension hooks.