My sister is going through a breakup right now and she is understandably quite upset about it. They've been together for a couple of years and I believe she felt this would be the person to spend the rest of her life with. Little My sister works very hard. She owns a home and is raising 2 daughters. She thought she'd found someone who not only wanted to be with her but was also willing to embrace her daughters as his own. He seems to have a never ending supply of money for his toys but it appears helping to pay his portion of the household bills is out of the question. My sister struggled with this and fought with him over money MANY times. She's done fighting and has asked him to move out.

On the surface it appears to be simple but she also struggles with her feelings for him. I can tell you that he's a great guy to be around and we all like him. I knew from the beginning there would be issues but of course I couldn't say anything. The heart wants what it wants and nothing anyone could say would change that.

Last night was "moving" night and she didn't want to be home, so I invited her and the girls to spend the night at my place. I bought a couple bottles of wine and opened myself up to listen to her get it all off her chest.

Here is where it gets interesting. (At least it does in MY mind) Her points: 1) He only works six months of the year as the business he owns is seasonal. Because it is his business, he does not get unemployment during the other six months. She pays for everything. 2) He is uninterested in my sister's stress over household bills. 3) He makes purchases for himself only during the six months off 4) She is not finding him as physically attractive as she did in the beginning as he has gained quite a bit of weight over the last 2 years. 3)He's a Momma's Boy and she feels she is his second mother rather than his girlfriend/partner. She's lost respect for him.


1) She likes that he's laid back and doesn't easily get upset 2) She has fun with him 3) She loves him

The interesting part? After speaking with her, it is obvious she is doing what we all do. Thinking she can brow beat him into CHANGING. "He's everything I want except.....(insert gripes here)"

My take on it? NO, he is not everything you want. You want a man you respect and has not only his interests in mind but actually cares about your best interests and well-being. You need someone who is an active partner in life and you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he has your back at all times. You need to know this relationship is the ONE place you are safe. The ONE place you are loved. The ONE place where nothing bad can happen to you. matter how charming, cute, and fun to be around he may be........he isn't The Guy. And yet, I see you struggle with this. That amazes me. Loving someone feels great but if they're not actively working towards a great relationship and only care about themselves, it isn't going to work no matter how much you cry and scream.

I am amazed by people who will stick it out no matter what when they KNOW they're with the wrong person. I've done it myself and I wish I could go back in time and kick myself in the head for being so stupid.

I told my sister to stop being so concerned with what He is or isn't doing and to begin being concerned about herself. He isn't going to change. So, if she can live with who he is RIGHT NOW...keep him around. If not, let him go.

Poor thing. I just want to hold her and tell her everything will be ok. It will be, but she won't hear those words right now. Right now, her world is crumbling and all I can do is listen and offer my support.