I was thinking about a man that I'd 'been with'. I was lying on my tummy with him lying on his side next to me. He was spanking me, tugging my hair, and telling me what a delicious slut I am. Then, The Look, came over his face. I knew it immediately and so did my body. One would swear an invisible hand swept over his face and as it revealed his forehead, eyes, nose, and mouth, the change followed. He changed and I changed with him. My breathing became shallow, my heart pounded, and my thong became soaked.
I live for that Look. I know anything is possible and the excitement is almost too much to bear. It's in those times that he pushed my boundaries and my limits. Afterwards, I'd lie there in a warm, fuzzy daze. Amazed and a bit pleased with myself that, "I did it!"
It's a bit like going on a rollercoaster. The anticipation while I wait in line and listen to the screams of those being thrashed around, up and down. A small amount of fear as I wonder, "oh my god can I do this? Maybe it's too much for me." My heart pounds as I take my seat. My breath caught in my chest as the car makes its way to the top. And yes, the blood curdling scream as my car hurtles it's way at 60 miles an hour to the bottom of the hill only to turn me upside down, round and round. Please make it stop! I can't do this. How long is this ride anyway??? Hang on....I'm not sure, but I'm quite certain this is enjoyable. woohoo!! I jump off the ride in the end. I'm all out of breath and my blood is pumping hard through my veins. Again! I want to go again!
This is why I have a difficult time with people listing off their limits before they've ever stood at the edge of what could be a great thrill. Sitting here, sipping my coffee, far removed from anything even slightly resembling s&m. It would be very easy for me to say what I will and won't do. The truth of the matter is, that with the 'right guy' and the 'right circumstance' and oh-my-god-that-LOOK...lots of things are possible.
Embrace the possibilities rather than belittle the unknown. A new world could open up for you.
1 comments:
Thank you for talking about the limits and how great it can be to push them...i struggle constantly with that, with balancing between WANTING to try more and having FEAR to do so.
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